I visited the National Shrine of the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes in Emmitsburg, MD. I was traveling back from Bethesda where I had work done on my tattoo and, traveling alone, I had the time to stop and see both the Shrine and the Basilica to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton nearby.
The pilgrimage site begins with a tall tower on the site of the original “church on the hill” where a group of Catholics first began practicing after they were pushed westward by the Puritans. The tower is several stories high, perched on the side of St. Mary’s Mount, with a golden statue of the Virgin Mary on the top and a bell tower at her feet. The path through the woods to the grotto is lined with bronze depictions of the stations of the cross. Once you arrive in a clearing, you see a small chapel with only enough room for a kneeling bench and a couple chairs. Beyond the chapel, you come to the grotto itself. Situated beside the spring and filled to the brim with prayer candles, the grotto is a peaceful site where many pilgrims gathered to pray and be granted indulgences. On the path away from the grotto back toward the tower, mosaics depicting the mysteries of the rosary line the path on one side with statues of saints and different incarnations of the Virgin Mary on the other. I rambled through the paths and knelt in the chapel and at the altar at the grotto, spending about an hour and a half wandering around.
I have always been attracted to the Virgin Mary. I even have a statue of her in my bedroom. She has always seemed to me a strong, powerful, but quintessentially feminine woman who suffered as all women suffer. She loved, sacrificed, and lost- not a uniquely feminine experience, but one that certainly resonates with many women. When I was little, I even thought she was the third part of the Holy Trinity- God the Father, Jesus, and Mary the Mother. I have always held a deep appreciation for her and felt as though, had we known each other, we would have been friends. In my mind, her humanity has always been foremost to her divinity.
I find, as I search for God, that completely contrary to the usual method of religious adoration, I am drawn more to the divine figures with the most humanity- the unwilling prophet, the fearful savior, the weeping mother. These figures attract me because they ARE me- they are human, they hurt, they suffer, they rejoice- just like I do. The Annuciation- when Mary was shocked by the angel Gabriel who told her should would bear Jesus— the Agony of Jesus in the Garden- when Jesus wept and prayed in piety and fear before his coming demise— these scenes underscore the things I love about religion and about faith. Who wants to have faith in someone who is always the hero? Who wants to worship the person who is always perfect? How can I relate to that? The painful parts, the sorrowful parts, are my favorite parts- they pierce my heart the way joyful adoration never could.
As I continue to search and ply my way through ideas, ideologies, and stories, the image of Bernadette praying to the Madonna of Lourdes is one I will file away.
